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What's Good Attention

Updated: Jun 5

Well hi,


I'm Emma, and it's great to have you here! I'm a Yoga teacher, and when I'm not teaching couples I'm busy working on getting my MA in Psychology. This is the page of my site where you will see me sharing my experience of emotional trauma, and how I found a way to deal, and ultimately upgrade the quality of my life. Over the next few months, I will be talking a lot about relationships, family systems and personal responsibility and getting empowered.

I'm into acknowledging emotional trauma, particularly the kind that develops growing up in difficult family systems. And I'm really into how, as adults growing up in these environments, we are affected by the way we see ourselves and the way we deal with relationships. Emotional trauma can manifest as anger, resentment, shame and low self worth. I think we can all agree, that these feelings are pretty debilitating! And totally bad for your brain by the way. I want to start by saying that these feelings are part of the human experience, and guys, running away from them is like rowing a boat with one oar. These uncomfortable feelings create some of the richest soil needed for some potent, integrated growth. Where there is a low side, there has to be a high side, because, you know. Balance.


The personal growth and development space has exploded in recent years, which is awesome, and it’s beyond refreshing to hear people speak freely about loaded topics and to have so many awesome resources available to us. And, I’m still finding a few grimaces when people talk about the low side of our emotional spectrum. Followed by an all too eager conversation shift to something more positive. It's a challenge for me to get onboard with people who sell the idea that you can be happy all the time, you know the vibe…. “just drink the green juice and do the Yoga!” *Hair flick

No.

Trying to remain happy all the time, is quite simply impossible, and when emotional trauma is in the room, it informs so much of how we respond to situations.

I'm an advocate for regulation. Finding ways to help you turn around and head back to zero on the emotional Richter scale, vs taking your trigger by the hand and skipping off into a verbal war zone. What I care about is honoring what’s real for you at any moment of any day, feel it fully, let it move through you, and advocate for what you need. For someone who spent the first part of her life as a nervous, shy and largely invisible creature…. This practice has made me brave, and it’s served as the greenest of green juices.


So what does regulation look like?

Aiming for a regulated state feels way more achievable than plastering a smile on your face. And I believe regulation becomes more available when pleasure shows up. We are so good at remembering all the things we don’t like, and maybe it takes some conscious effort to swing the pendulum the other way. Get acquainted with yourself! What makes you relax, even a little. I invite you to stay awake to this over the next few days. Create a list in your phone, so you can add things on-the-go.

  • How the air smells first thing in the morning

  • Flower stands

  • Bees

  • Snuggling my face in my Man's neck

  • Taking lot's of slow, deep breaths after I wake up and I'm still in my bed.

  • Walking in the woods.

  • Yoga in the woods.

  • Really. Good. Food.

  • My twin - he's hilarious. You can't hang out with him and not laugh

  • Puppies and kittens that like to hug you back (personal fave)

These things don’t need to be massive, they just need to be often. More often = more happy hormones. Things you enjoy for no reason other than to enjoy them, can also be the antidote to a really bad mood. Give it a try and let me know, I'd love to know what works for you. Also, when you catch yourself laughing or you see something really beautiful, or something really adorable, don't always get your phone out to capture it. Be in it. Feel it fully.

If you like what you read and want to know more, go ahead and hit subscribe. I'd love to hear form you.


Onward,

Emma

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